Mystics Twenty Tour Test 2011

This quiz was written before the 2011 tour, and the answers are correct at lunchtime on 31st July 2011.

1. Scrimpy sputters so

"Shot, Jim!" Annie cried as the ball sailed through the air towards the car park, then "Oh, hello ..." and CRASH as the indicator on the Squire's car once more took the hit. Chris sighed, "Well, it was taken smooth, and the insurance'll cover it, I s'pose." "Oh man, tension, it's too much, owning a posh car like this" wept Kate, envisioning the endless calls to the insurance company. "I'll have to plead to some eager squirt who'll try to up my premiums and sell me extra protection that we just don't need. Bloody cricket and bloody bat hooliganism! I know he's my brother, but honestly my blood pressure's sky high with all this supporting malarkey and I'm starting to wonder, is hell adrenal or should I be upping the valium on tour? And is that moron still at the crease?" Suddenly, feeling rather fuzzy round the edges, Kate found herself surrounded by the Mystics children, all trying to cheer her up and take her mind off her financial vehicular predicament. "I'm a fisherman foe!" bellowed Greta like some poetical oar sweeping decisively through the waters of Kate's insanity. Kate giggled through her tears, dull on craziness, as a screwball ideal began to formulate. Her rants slashed by the Mystic spirit, she became more sillier, hallucinating her way out of the eternal hell of the cricketing spectator. As she lay down on the grass by the boundary rope and the stomp rocket, a golden figure, like a Barbie doll, or a silky dog perhaps, descended from the sky, singing one batty hymn after another in a squeaky, unintelligible voice. Kate was perspiring and breathing heavily, the cricket match and her broken car now removed to the periphery of her consciousness. A granular hair floated down from the ghostly figure and landed in Kate's sweaty, upturned palm as the children danced round her maniacally chanting nursery rhymes. Kate felt as though she were being stretched on a fervid rack now; her senses dulled, the pain of her car insurance situation gently easing. "Damn, rash angel" she whispered. "Do not fear", sang the angel, "I'm a zesty ruin, nothing more. I haven't come to help you. I'm simply a figment of your crazed imagination. You've been playing drinking games again, haven't you?" "But, my car!" Kate appealed. "Before we left Devon, it was beautiful, clean and shiny. Now it's muddy, scratched and full of rubbish. Come, gleam on it, can't you?" "I'm afraid there's nothing I can do," said the shiny apparition. "You see, I don't really exist. Perhaps you've been sitting in the sun too long. I really don't understand this game of cricket. The idea of a hero's banal to me. Players of the Tour, Mystic Moments, T-shirts. A stolen prize if ever I saw one. Pull yourself together. I'm out of here." And with a pop, she was gone.
Kate sat up and looked around. The cricket was over and the players were returning to the pavilion. Supporters were gathering round, applauding and cheering. Greta and Eliza were shouting and singing at the tops of their voices. "Oh,
son wanted!" thought Kate wearily as she put on an extra layer and prepared herself for the long evening ahead. She felt like a right heavy nerd now. Perhaps it had all been some kind of strange daydream and Jim hadn't hit a six into her car. He was just some anal Ham lad after all. Kate realised she was starving. She hadn't eaten all day. The match was in the middle of nowhere and all the tea had long-since disappeared. She wanted cake. Oh how she longed for her loyal bakery back home. She was homesick, torn in riot. She wanted to be on tour, but she yearned for cake. The stuff you could get in Cornwall was no more than a solid fat farce. She wanted apricot pastry. They're simply divine. She headed despondently into the pavilion, her stomach rumbling and her head spinning. The opposition team were all standing around, swilling cheap lager from cans and devouring greasy chips. Kate realised she was salivating. She would eat anything. She smiled flirtatiously at the other team's sturdy captain. "I adore bloaters" she realised madly. Luckily, she was interrupted by the Mystics' post-match shenanigans. Chris was the finer of shame, and Jim was shown no mercy for the clean beaten hint of his innings. Then the opposition captain gave a quick speech of thanks to the Mystics and offered a small trophy as a token of their gratitude for a great fixture. Kate flopped into a chair at the table as the trophy was set down. She blinked and stared for a minute. It was a glowing figure encased in glass, known in Cornwall as a kind jar icon, and in its hand it held a small Peugeot indicator bulb.

2. Who has been on every Mystics tour?
"Going on tour" means staying a night on tour and going to at least one game; not just turning up at the Erratics game.

3. Chloe is the oldest person to have been on a Mystics tour every year of her life. Who else has done this?

4. Next in sequence.
(a) Nicki, Annie, Kate, Laura, Jo, Donna, ...
(b) Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Dunc, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Ernie, ...
(c) Ireland, Scotland, Scotland, Scotland, Scotland, Scotland, Scotland, ...
(d) The Arns, Dunsford, Killerton House, ...
(e) SW914503, SX143597, SX034710, SX014593, SX197676, ...

5. Calculate

6. Which is the odd one out and why?
(a) Jim and Donna, Annie and Dunc, Kate and Chris, Jo and Ernie, Suzie and Neil – and it's not that Neil and Suzie aren't married.
(b) 1984, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989.

7. What links:
(a) Clyst St George, Teign Valley (Lower Ashton), Meiklewood House and Plymtree?
(b) Dunsford and Murthly?
(c) John Bird (1984, 1988), James Burrows (1991, 1993), Annie Chave (1990, 1988), Gary Lenearth (1992, 1991), Bill Parker (2003, 1995), Graham Sharland (1988, 2006), Cameron Wood (2005) and five others?

8. Below is a regular Mystic eleven. How was it selected?
Hayder Al-Mohammad, Phil Bailey, Adrian Borley, Colin Cecil, Neil Hadley, Simon Hughes, Duncan Maclaren, Suzie Martiny, Jo Sharland, Dan Shepherd, Stewart Taylor

9. A to Z
B : GS, KS, NS, PF, PG
D : AM, AR, CH
E : CC, CF, PT, SB, SF
F : GM, GW, KM
G : GN, RF
H : DG, DG, WG
I : CJ, GM
K : NJ, PC
L : AL, AS, TT
P : GM, MC
U : GG-L, RH
W : GM, PC

10. Picture round - who or where are these?









11. Mystic Yearbook - spot the Mystic faces

Answers to this quiz
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