When Jim asked me to write this match report, I did politely decline. However, this was misinterpreted as humour, and I was given a pen and paper. Jim, who is after all one of those tricky Thomsons, assured me that I could rely on Neil to add all the cricket details. Hah!
We buoyantly arrived in Gargunnock and slowly started sinking into the pitch. The Thomsons assured me it was not raining. I did not believe them, as large droplets of water were falling from the sky onto my face. They told Fraser he should not trust me, as I had an umbrella when it clearly wasn't raining. I think Fraser wanted to believe me, but blood is thicker than rainwater and, after throwing an apologetic glance towards me, he went off to play in the sunshine.
The cricket began and the lies continued. Derek opened the batting, despite the fact that he was at the motorway services at Scotch Corner. I pointed out that it looked more like Clem, but was unnerved and confused when Clem-Derek was out for a duck. Where lay the boundaries of reality? Indeed, where lay the boundary of the cricket pitch? The ground continued to exert its relentless grip on both us and the cricket balls.
Things did become more normal as Chris Squire went out to bat looking very much like Chris Squire. He swiftly, and wisely, returned to the comfort of the parasols after being bowled out for a duck.
The sun was pelting down too heavily for me by now and I retired to the hut to drink McEwans lager and listen to the test match in the -shed- shade. The temperature was obviously a problem for the batsmen too, as Duncan's gloves were soaked through and had to be changed during play.
The combination of McEwans, the test match, crossword and comfy seat resulted in me now needing to turn to Neil for those cricket details. So, here's what Jim sent me:
Clem-Derek was bowled by Mr Naris for a duck; Jim Dudbridge managed to run 14 times before being caught by Mr Everett off Mr Kuhlwilm's bowling; Chris Squire was also bowled out for a duck by Mr Naris (well done, Mr Naris! two wickets for nine runs);
Duncan, despite his best efforts, was not out and ran 37 times; Adam was nearly caught, but those cricket balls can be quite slippery, even on dry days like this, and he survived to get 33 runs. We also got five extras. Which was nice. The wickets fell at 0, 1 and 32.
All in all, everybody did very well. Well done, everybody.
For some reason, they decided to abandon the game. I think they were keen to enjoy the weather to the full with a barbecue on the porch.
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