Bugle Memorabilia


Mystics versus Bugle at Bugle, 1st August 2007

Before the game began, I was mercilessly mocked for getting itchy feet at the Crown in Lanlivery, where we were having an extended family lunch (the lunch and the family were both extended). "It's easy", says Duncan. "You go through Luxulyan." Now, it's an observable fact that, whilst every local signpost points the way to Luxulyan, there are no reliable signposts in Luxulyan to point the way out - and certainly not if you're wanting to go to Bugle. Add to that the fact that an accident had blocked off the main road, flooding the single-tracks with errant grockles who couldn't reverse their cars, and it was touch and go whether Rita and I (and Irving, who was usefully deployed to guide a confused lady from Grimsby into a lay-by) would get to the ground in time for the game. As it was, we entered Bugle by a previously undiscovered road and located the pub by a combination of osmosis and alcohol-abuse. BUT, to the game!

1) Credit where credit's due! "I like the Bugle game: I like the ground", said Chris Squire to me at least a month before the tour started. So, first of all, he hits two fours (and that's enough pleasure for one day). And then he bowls two overs for 14 (and that's economy). And then he bowls three more and takes 4 for 5 (and that's ridiculous).

2) Mystic panic on the boundary as we slump to 70 for 5. Barrott keeps bowling people! If we don't make a game of it, Bugle won't be bothering with us next year. Jim Thomson makes a unilateral decision to replace himself with Chris Healey. We need runs! (Chris Healey manages 3.)

3) Sid Thomson and Sam Cook shore things up with their second successive partnership of over fifty. (Sid survives for over 90 minutes without once complaining of the heat.)

4) Jim Myton's egregious 39* includes three sixes and lasts 19 balls. Is this a serious bid to climb the Clyst St George batting order?

5) With a fine sense of symmetry, eight Bugle bowlers complete five overs each. With an eye to mathematical sequence, one concedes 19 runs, one 20, one 21, one 22 and one 23. It's Nathan Toms who buggers it up by taking 1 for 5 in his spell. Maths isn't one of his strengths.
And then we have tea.

6) Nathan Toms deserves a bit of doggerel:

First ball of the innings he hits up a catch
To Jim Myton at mid-off, who spills it.
He's a swaggering lad who wears a big cap
And a big head that easily fills it.
Second ball, and Chris Healey trots leisurely up,
Inured to the cruelties of cricket,
And bowls a full toss which Nathan from Hythe
Obligingly slaps to mid-wicket.
You can tell by his face that Sean Webb's not prepared,
But it sticks in his hands like a bucket.
'Some folks never learn', I say to myself,
While Nathan, in pique, mumbles 'Fuck it!'.

7) Windy Miller's catches do a lot to boost Chris Squire's analysis, but if Sean Webb looked surprised after he caught Nathan Toms, you should have seen Chris's face after he'd held the return catch from Jake Moore!

8) Matt Cook's run-out of Barrott was brilliant, but in retrospect (and even at the time) supererogatory.

9) After watching Bugle trying to score runs on a track that it would be an understatement to call sluggish, Jim Myton's innings looks even more astonishing.

10) The Mystics used eight bowlers, too, but completed eleven maiden overs - eight more than Bugle's bowlers. That, in the end, was the difference.

Then we went to the refurbished Working Men's Club. It's a place I'll always associate with Bugle cricket. And it was there that Dave Stevens (Club President) told me that Clare Hugo once worked with his son on a local newspaper. For all we know, she may still have media contacts - so we need to watch what we're about at Corgi Farm. No more of Josh Miller climbing into bed with the boy next door. It'll make headlines in the News of the World: INFANT ORGY IN CORNISH HIDEAWAY.



Peter Thomson


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