2.How many people have played for the Mystics?
ANSWER: 71.
3. How many different teams have we played against?
ANSWER: 31.
4. What was Trevor the Hippy's real surname?
ANSWER: Bell.
5. Name every Mystic on the front cover.
ANSWER:
(back row) Adam, Chris S, Kayla, Fred, Fraser, Amanda, Jimmy Ton, Big Cook, Duncan
(next row) Adi, Clem, Python, Aggers, Ernie, Naomi, Sid, Donna, Dame Alexandra David-Neel, Kev
(next row) Colin Tarrant, Chloe, Martin Watts, Trevor the Hippy
(next row) Chirpy, Dave Henderson, Joseph, Chris Healey, Rita, Peter, Deke, Jim, Windy, Kate, Matt Cook, Annie, Graham
(next row) Yosser, Jimmy D, Meg
(front row) Buddha, Mr Woo, Neil, Windy (again)
6. Which Mystic ... ?
(a) ... is the direct descendant of one of Leon Trotsky's cousins?
(b) ... his/her mother was offered a herd of camel for him/her in Bahrain?
(c) ... got in trouble with the law for hugging Arsenal's Ray Parlour?
(d) ... dismissed a (then current) England cricketer in a competitive match?
(e) ... had Essex's Ken McEwan as a batting coach?
(f) ... has appeared on University Challenge?
(g) ... cried when Chris Healey was told that his golf clubs had been stolen?
(h) ... beat a British downhill champion in a skiing race?
ANSWER:
(a) Kevin Barron.
(b) Talia.
(c) Neil Hadley.
(d) Annie (dismissed Charlotte Edwards).
(e) Deke (at his school in Cape Town).
(f) Dan Shepherd (for the Foreign Office team).
(g) Dunc.
(h) Adi (beat Graham Bell in a novelty race).
7. What event is being described at what game and in which year?
(a) After 10 overs and 30 forward defensives, Windy has scored two. At the other end, Charlie tries hard to keep the scoreboard going and scores a very good 35 before being caught at long on.
(b) The score had reached 56. It would have saved us a lot of running around if the Erratics had declared then. After all, they already had a winning total.
(c) "Oh, MERCY!" said Freddie, "WHY did he do that? That Matt in the Hat, what a twat, WHAT A TWAT!"
(d) In fact, when his innings is converted to ASCII text, it reads "HELP. OLD MAN TRAPPED IN BODY OF CALLOW YOU2TH".
(e) The boys are back in Scotland. Different bodies. Slippage is detected. Same soul.
ANSWER:
(a) Duncan's fantasy report of the Edinburgh University Staff game in 1995.
(b) That day in Christow when the Erratics bowled us out for 53 (1999).
(c) Matt Cook being out at Largo in 2001. Fred was captain, and Adrian was Doctor Seuss.
(d) Chris Healey's description of Clem's binary innings at Breadalbane in 2000.
(e) Kate's mad montage report of the Breadalbane game in 1998.
8. Who being was fined ... ?
(a) "I can't remember what happened, but I haven't half got a sore throat this morning."
(b) (on being informed that Annie had gone into labour) "Will she be coming on tour?"
(c) "Can I have steak and chips?" "No, it's only the food on the blackboard." "OK, I'll have a pint of Tawny."
(d) Sending "psycopathic messages" to the clouds.
(e) Believing adult men can grow full facial hair in the space of 3 overs.
(f) "I know what it's like. Windy just looks at you, grins and sticks his finger up."
(g) "What's an apple?"
(h) (after surveying some senior members of the team eating breakfast) "If next door is the youth club, then this is the home."
(i) "Are you paying him to give you money?"
ANSWER: Fred Dudbridge (all nine fines).
9. Some Mystic bridegrooms have kept it within the club by using other Mystics as best men. Name as many of these pairings as you can (I have come up with eight).
ANSWER: (groom first) Ernie and Jim; Sid and Jim; Biz and Jim; Dunc and Deke; Martin Matravers and Deke; Phil Bailey and Deke; Oliver Gardiner and Chris Healey; Adi and Oliver Pritchard.
10. What is the distance in miles (not bloody kilometres) between our two furthest apart British fixtures?
ANSWER: Aberfeldy to Falmouth is ... miles.
11. Who faced the first ball for the Mystics on 31st July 1984?
ANSWER: Duncan MacLaren (Stan's mate from Coventry).
12. Who bowled that ball to him?
ANSWER: Steve Berry.
13. Whose catchphrase ... ?
(a) ... "We'll have to see. We'll have to see" ?
(b) ... "Schoolboy error" ?
(c) ... "SCOREBOARD!" ?
(d) ... "Cricket is an art form, an unfinished canvas on which anyone can make their mark" ?
ANSWER:
(a) Jimmy the Portuguese in Blebo Craigs.
(b) Windy.
(c) Peter Thomson, extreme umpire.
(d) Chris Cook (in the Express and Echo).
14. Missed opportunities. Which Mystics were called for - but did not attend - trials by ... ?
15. Professional Mystics. Which Mystics have done these jobs ... ?
16. Challenges and gambles. What was the outcome?
(a) ... Warwickshire C.C.C.?
(b) ... Exeter City F.C.?
(c) ... Nottinghamshire County Council?
ANSWER:
(a) Peter Thomson.
(b) Biz.
(c) Jim Thomson (for non-payment of poll tax).
(a) ... piano tuner?
(b) ... Chief Inspector at Sun Hill?
(c) ... archaeologist?
(d) ... teacher in a prison?
(e) ... hotel proprietor?
(f) ... porn star?
(g) ... chef and rat killer in a German pizza restaurant?
(h) ... head hunter in the city?
(i) ... working on Blue Peter?
ANSWER:
(a) Graham Sharland.
(b) Colin Tarrant (as Andrew Monroe).
(c) Biz.
(d) Amanda.
(e) Matt Loades.
(f) Steve Berry (allegedly).
(g) Adi (during university year abroad).
(h) Chris Squire.
(i) Chris Healey.
(a) Clem vs Matt 100m sprint. Loser buys winner a pint.
(b) Kate offered to buy a pint for anyone who umpired in nothing but the umpiring coat.
(c) Chris Healey offered to buy Dan a pint if, while bowling, he appealed for an lbw in Vietnamese.
ANSWER:
(a) I can't remember.
(b) Jim Thomson took up the challenge in a dangerously short coat.
(c) The umpire replied "not out" in Japanese.